Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Frustration and a bounce back

So much for daily updates :) But there is a good reason for it. Last week was a total disaster infused with frustration. Mother nature decided to unleash a week of snowy wet weather, day after day, and I looked from the inside not feeling sure I wanted to venture outside.

I have been battling stupid excuses not to exercise and run, but this time, it didn't feel so stupid. I was really, truly, deeply concerned about running on slippery roads and injuring myself, so I made the decision to stay inside and wait it out. Now, thanks to some good friends, I now know that I could buy some straps that I could put over my shoes to keep from slipping on the snowy roads. I also know that some runners run on snowy roads and are just fine. But last week, I wasn't that confident about braving the elements, and I did beat myself up for not running, especially when I saw other runners keep on running. After a day of self-loathing, I decided that my motives were valid and it was ok to decide to prevent injury by not exercising outside. I tried cross-training with my indoor bike on Tuesday and it worked well, but the rest of the week was not as successful.

By Friday, my frustration reached top levels and I just lost it! It felt like I had gone back to bad patterns of behaviour when, once I stop doing something for a day, I just give it up entirely. It took me a few days to build up the confidence to go out again, and promise myself that no matter the set backs, I would keep trying. It helped a lot that I was inspired by our Canadian athletes who are just incredible role models, mentally strong and courageous, and determined to accomplish their objectives.

So on Monday, after putting the kids on the bus, I laced up my running shoes and went out for my first run in seven days. After 53 minutes of running, where I pushed myself a little (some kind of punishment for the time off :), I completed a 7.5 km run that felt triumphant. I had stopped the pattern of quitting, and resumed my path towards the half-marathon.

So the lesson is that no matter what comes across my journey, the challenges and the delays, I will have to be flexible and adapt to various situations along the way. A one-week hiatus will be forgiven by a 7.5 km run that puts me back on track. Two births coming up that will alter my running schedule will mean I will have to make up the time once the births are over. Adaptability, resilience and determination will be my new friends as I continue towards my goal.

There's no turning back, one step at a time, even with a bit of delay, I am getting closer to crossing that finish line. And with Spring around the corner, it seems like snow and slippery roads, will not be a problem for long.

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